Fighting the Current
by noenigma
Summary: Spoilers for series 7 Entry Wounds...just a short character piece involving Hobson's reaction to Lewis returning to the police.


Author's Note: My computer has died leaving me at the mercy of borrowed laptops and unfamiliar programs...started this more as a try-out of Google Docs than anything as haven't written a word in months. But...nothing like a new show to get the writing flowing. My take on what was behind one rather short sentence in _Entry Wounds_.

Disclaimer: Purely for fan purposes; no copyright infringement intended.

**Fighting the Current**

"If running around in a bulletproof vest makes you happy, go for it."

_Laura_

She'd not asked him to give up the job. He'd come to that decision himself, but she'd been happy enough when he had. More than pleased. She would never have asked him; never presumed that he'd pick her over it-regardless of how his eyes twinkled when he smiled down at her. But, she'd heaved a secret sigh of relief when he'd swung by the morgue after he'd signed his walking papers, and she'd laughed outright when they'd drank up to that last toast from Innocent that evening.

Still, she'd never told him how relieved she'd been to not have him rubbing shoulders with murderers every day of the week. How she'd felt marvelously freed from a load of anxiety she hadn't known was weighing on her until it had been lifted. As though she'd been holding her breath forever without even realizing it. The strength of her relief had taken her by surprise; she'd never known him when he wasn't on the job. Its dangers had always been a part of her awareness of him-he'd all but ended up on her table only days after she met him. It had never occurred to her that she was terrified of something happening to him.

But...she had been. And she certainly was now. The very strength of her relief back when he'd retired and of her fear now knowing he was right back in the middle of it was what made it impossible for her to talk about it. As though, by bringing it out into the light, it would make it stronger, make it...real. Make it all that much closer to an instant when a mandown call came through and that would be it.

Ridiculous. Blatantly absurd. But...she still couldn't bring herself to open her mouth and chance it. So, she threw up a wall of wounded affront and angry silence.

Not that she hadn't been rather upset to be telling James one moment that Robbie was enjoying his life of leisure and having her ignorance thrown in her face the next. Upset and hurt...for she'd truly thought he had been content to be puttering about on that canoe of his and playing househusband. And she'd certainly thought he'd tell her if he wasn't...as he no doubt had expected her to share her fears with him. As he no doubt still did, sighing heavily after her when she spit out her anger at him and gave him the cold shoulder.

It was, she knew, no way to conduct a relationship; not his way anyway. It came naturally to her and went a long way towards explaining why she'd never managed to stay in a relationship for long. Always that protective wall she'd erected around herself shutting them out, pushing them away when things got too personal, too intimate. When her fears and insecurities started to show.

It would be just too much if her fears for him cost her their relationship. So, Laura, swallow hard and let it go or chance losing him. Find a way to live with Robbie back on the force-for this one case, or his contracted year, or for an unknown number of years to come-or find a way to live without him full stop. Given only the two choices, it was inevitable which she would choose.

_Lewis_

She'd not told him she didn't like him on the job; and up until that 'if running around in a bulletproof vest…" comment, he'd thought he'd found himself in her bad graces because of failing to discuss the idea with her before he'd let Innocent talk him into her alternative to a trip to the hardware store. And he'd thought, she'd been justified in that..and he would have talked it over with her if she'd given him half a chance.

Still he'd gone ahead and signed on without waiting for her to give him her opinion when obviously he should have waited until she was ready to talk.

She'd said something though, the little bit she had said, about him being too old to be putting himself in harm's way...and he'd been sincere enough telling her that would hardly be the case. That he'd be on the desk more than not-well, it was what he'd expected, wasn't' it? Not welcomed, by any means...ending up back where he'd started all those years before; relegated to the paperwork while others were out there doing the real job. But, honestly? Who'd want a retired DI mucking about with their case? Certainly not Hathaway trying too hard, like all new inspectors, to prove he deserved the promotion for all he'd fought against it.

So he'd not expected to be donning a bulletproof vest his very first case back; and he'd not enjoyed it. He'd never enjoyed that particular aspect of the job...leave that to Armed Response and get on with the rest of it. But...it did feel good to be back at the station-Innocent's extinction comments and Hathaway's stifled resentment notwithstanding. Even Laura's cold treatment hadn't lessened his relishment...not thinking, as he'd been, that she'd get over his unintended slight and come round.

But...if there was more to it...if that bulletproof vest comment hadn't been just one more barb to throw at him, but something more-well, he'd been down that road before. Right or wrong, he'd done what he could to turn a blind eye to Val's concerns. At its worst, he'd pulled every hour of overtime he could and avoided going home afraid that the next thing out of her mouth would have been a plea for him to leave the police. And afraid of what his answer would have been...oh, he'd have done what he had to for her and for the kids in the end. But. He'd have gone kicking and screaming and who knew what harm he'd have done to all their lives along the way? So,he'd worked the all-nighters to Morse's disgust and enjoyment; blamed them on his bad back and need to bring in something extra to pay the painters-as though Aunt Sissy's couch was any better for his back!* And somehow he'd managed to hold onto both the job and his marriage.

But, Laura was about as far from Val as she could get. She'd not put up with the same from him. He'd find himself and his canoe out in the cold if he tried it with her-and it wasn't like when he'd been young. Policing was the only thing he'd known, and he'd had the family to support. Now though-he had his pension and a fair bit of Morse's inheritance; he didn't need the pay packet. And...he'd proven himself, hadn't he? Knew what he was capable of, and did he really need to be running around Oxford catching killers to know what he was made of?

Innocent had known what it was. The challenge. That's what she'd waved under his nose like a carrot to lure him back to the force. Oh, it had been nice to feel needed-though she'd stretched the truth there a bit, hadn't she? But it was the chance to pit himself against a murderer and come out on top that had won the day. Surely, having Laura was worth more than the satisfaction of outwitting the bad guys.

So, where'd that leave him? Innocent would, eventually, unhappily, release him from his contract...and his canoe was still taking up Laura's patio. And he could do it, couldn't he? For her? Walk away from the job, content himself piddling about-well, he'd have to if it came to it. For just as once he hadn't been able to see how he could go on without the job, he now couldn't see himself able to go on without her.

When she dropped the anger and snide remarks, if there was anything behind that vest comment, he'd do what he had to do.

_*It has always seemed to me there's something not quite said about Sgt. Lewis' reluctance to go home in the **The Wolvercote Tongue** and this bit comes from my guess as to what that might be-something I hope to one day address in a Morse fic if I ever get busy writing again._


End file.
